Poor little Adrienne hates to beg, but what can she do? Freelance writing work is scarce in her village. Yet despite difficult times, every month her evil mortgage lender, health insurance provider and telephone company demand their filthy lucre. Day after day, she awaits word from someone like you; a guardian angel who recognizes her talent; someone willing to let her prove how brilliant, how reliable, how thoroughly professional she is. We beseech you to please help Adrienne support herself and her family, not by giving charity, but by providing much needed work. so she may live in dignity (and maybe even buy that cute little outfit she’s had her eye on.) Bless you.




abundantly creative
endlessly resourceful
extremely intelligent
clever and witty
fast learner
denies the existence of the impossible
prepared for any contingency
amiable (if not downright lovable)
willing and able to withstand incredible pressure
able to speak, read and/or write: français, menza-menza italiano,
un poco español, igpay-atinlay, , ,
scintillating conversationalist
collector of esoteric information (go ahead...ask me anything)
world-traveled and cosmopolitan
fantastic cook
conceptually artistic
clairvoyant, telepathic and able to cloud men's minds
organized, logical and efficient
mentioned in "Who's Who"*
responsible (whenever anything happens, I'm responsible)
striking beauty (if you don't agree, I'll strike you)
humble and modest (my most endearing qualities)



Unable to add past 10 without the help of a calculator (and I DON'T do windows)


Lifelong Ambition:

To lead a brilliant and exciting career from which I may retire a wealthy woman to write my memoirs which will be made into an HBO Best-Seller Mini-Series.


Progress to date:

Published writer of fiction, non-fiction and humor. Author of "Dirty Yiddish Slang" (Ulysses Press.) Originator of BUBBY-GRAM and PICK- A-SHTICK (entertainment agency.) Performing comedienne. Creator of several successful lines of amusing greeting cards & novelty items for Recycled Paper Greetings, Papyrus, Avanti Press, American Postcard Co., et al. Creative consultant to Fortune 50 companies. Award-winning copywriter and card designer. Game and toy inventor/designer. Professor at Parson's School of Design. Advice columnist. Motivational speaker. Media darling. (for writing samples, please go HERE


One good reason
to employ me:


To keep my unlimited talents from falling into the hands of your competition


"Marvelous, sensational, wonderful, extraordinary, superb, remarkable, exceptional, fabulous, phenomenal, amazing."
-- Peter Mark Roget

"The most perfect woman in the world." --Adrienne's husband


* "in American High School Students"